MARRIAGE IN THE 21ST CENTURY

I was recently married and throughout the planning process came across the road blocks, and speed bumps many brides do. The real struggle is whether or not you will turn those bumps into bridezilla moments. Most of them are small, and if you are a sensible bride you recognize them as such and move on. A few of them make you angry and you decide they are important enough to make a fuss about. But throughout the blood, sweat and tears, I was lucky enough to remember how special the day is for my groom and myself. Every second of it is about the bride and groom... So straying from tradition was not so scary for us. First, was the battle with the church. The Vatican is pushing for more strict rules in the Catholic Church and this includes outlawing the unity candle. Every ceremony I've ever been to has one so I didn't see what the fuss was about. We ended up having one, we just had to call it a "remembrance candle."
Then was the issue of taking pictures before the wedding. It was an evening ceremony so daylight pictures after the ceremony were not possible. Should we see each other before the wedding and break tradition? We decided to go for it because we didn't want to feel rushed getting to the reception. To make it special, the groom started off with a blindfold (someone's sock because we forgot the real one) and we took pictures of "the unveiling." We're so glad we did this, and for any brides who battle with the decision, it did not in any way take away from the moment when I walked down the aisle. As my mom told me, it's about the whole scene, the people, the church, the lighting, the music, and everyone standing for the entrance. The whole setting creates the feeling where you know you are about to marry your best friend. Seeing each other for some pictures before that can't touch that feeling with a ten foot pole.
We set the tone for our wedding from the very beginning. Our invitations were a little unique:
__ Will attend with bells on
__ Will attend, free of bells
__ Will attend, undecided on bells
__ Will not attend; have heard there will be people wearing bells
__ Will not attend, regardless of bell controversy
The end result -- our families and friends surprised us with bells they started ringing as my father and I walked down the aisle. What a great way to break the nerves! It seems everyone already knew what kind of event it would be.
The ceremony was incredible. Our priest was fun, sprinkling more water on the best man's face than the rings during the blessing, and pointing out to the congregation that he was thoroughly enjoying it. He ranked our kiss a six and said last week's couple was an 8 and dared us to beat them.... We did! People laughed and cried and the catholic mass really didn't seem as long as it was.
Our reception entrance was different as well. Our wedding party pretended to run slow motion in to chariots of fire... .Then the bass kicked in for the bride and groom, walking in to the hip hop song "swing" by Savage Garden. After our wedding video, which had surprises even for us (we taped some things ahead of time that neither one of us watched), we surprised our guests. After tears throughout from our last video/slideshow song.... My groom stated there was one more thing about me... He shouted baby got back and the music began! That was our first dance. Everything else was pretty traditional, the cake, the father/daughter, mother/son dances, the boquet and garter toss, etc. But what was so important was setting that tone. We had so many people tell us they had more fun at our wedding than any other. And I think it's because we broke the ice right from the beginning. I certainly don't want to take away from the importance of a marriage celebration, but your guests should know they are free to be themselves. I think showing them we were relaxed about the whole day encouraged them to kick back and really enjoy themselves.
My wedding was not like any wedding I have been to either, but I think it's close to where more brides and grooms are headed. We may have some very fun times ahead because marriage in the 21st century is a blast.