I think Catholic churches may have a rule to make it hard for people to get married in them. Marriage is a sacrament, of course, so there is a certain standard of sacred the ceremony itself should be held to. But since when does the Vatican decide you can't have a unity candle... and the soloist must be trained as a cantor by the Catholic Church?? All things I've recently learned in my quest to get married.... seems to me the Vatican should have more important things to worry about than whether or not I'm allowed to have a unity candle at the ceremony. Being the journalist that I am or was (that's really a loaded question)... but anyway.. I started researching the unity candle and just what is the problem with it. Most of what I found assumes people look at candles in church as "pretty lights" that are there for the look of the church... when in fact each candle in church symbolizes Christ. I say to those people, "Thank you for assuming our ignorance." I have never looked at a candle in church as if it were a "pretty light." And I certainly don't think that's what a unity candle is... and just because you blow out a candle, it does not mean you are signifying death. I think this is a perfect example of people reading too far into things and that's something that can drive people away from the church. There are people who have dedicated blogs to this topic... and people's "pretty lights." Below is one I found infuriating. Here is the link , but part of it is pasted below:
"You may see a few more candles about that have not been mentioned in this series. Some are simply not prescribed (but not necessarily banned) by the Church and there may actually be a few more that I have missed. (If you think of any, please let me know save for vigil candles which will round out this series next week.) But you will have marked that in each case they candles represent Christ. That is our symbolic language and unlike some of our symbolic language, these symbols are coded. This is why so many priests frown upon the unity candle. These candles do not represent Christ or His consuming of Himself on our behalf, but pretty lights that represent two people. The snuffing out as part of the ceremony comes terribly close to signifying death or the loss of Christ – or at least the loss of the idea of “a flame divided but undimmed.” It certainly is dimmed. Two people have just been obliterated. Then when the final candle is lit, it too does not represent Christ as does every single other candle in the sanctuary. It represents the new couple but to what end?It is possible to make up all kinds of symbolism for this ceremony and decent symbolism at that, but it will always be in competition with what is happening liturgically. Of course, even after coming to an understanding of all of this there will be people who still want to add this to their wedding though occasionally some will move it to the reception where it is most fitting. In the end the Catholic Church will not be destroyed by the Unity Candle but we should have a very clear understanding of what it is we are doing when we do use it in order to avoid falling into the error that all of the candles used in Church are just pretty lights to do with as we wish."
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